SCRIPTING and CHANGE IN PLOT: IMPORTANT

So far we have filmed 80% of our trailer and have begun the process of piecing the scenes together.

UPDATE:  We decided to change some things in our original plot so that the story is easier to understand. The sibling rivalry and female empowerment will remain key themes, however, we feel that the shots we have filmed so far do not show the reason why the female protagonist feels so strongly about the rivalry between her and her brother.  

Having identified this issue, we decided to film some scenes with dialogue even though our trailer is mostly reliant on a voice over. Some of the dialogue will be in Japanese because we want our film to appear genuine and to engage the reader with the story (seeing as they will have to read the subtitles).

I have highlighted the translations in orange and included the romanized version of the one liners so our actors will find it easier to pronounce the words.

Below I have crossed out the ideas that we have scrapped. We filled in these plot holes with fresh ideas that were more appropriate for the scenes that we filmed.

NEW SCENES aka remaining 20% of filming:

Francois (The father and head of the Yakuza) slaps Chantelle (Kaya Maki/The daughter) 

FRANCOIS: [Backhands Chantelle across the face] 

Anata no basho o shitte iru
(TRANSLATION: Know your place) 

CHANTELLE: [Eyes wide open, staring at the floor in shock, breathing rapidly]

[stuttering] I.. I.. J-j-just... 

                                
                          Bar scene - Chantelle confiding in Aiko, her best friend (Me)

CHANTELLE: [Takes a sip out of her glass]

I am fed up of walking in HIS shadow.

ME: His?

CHANTELLE: It's funny how they don't know what I'm capable of.

ME: [Scoffs] They don't.

[Toast each other's glasses] 

Information exchange scene 
["Sama" is a Japanese honorific suffix, it is important to include this in the dialogue as it shows that Kaya Maki is still the daughter of a Yakuza boss therefore she deserves respect because she has some authority]

JAMES: [Sitting in the car, holding an envelope containing pictures of the yakuza's enemies]  

CHANTELLE: [Looks around before getting in the car]

JAMES: Kaya-sama [bows] [rises from bow] 

JAMES: [Hands Chantelle the envelope] Get rid of these rats and you'll gain the Yakuza's approval. 

CHANTELLE: [Nods in determination] Is this all I need?

JAMES: Yes, Kaya-sama.

Torture scene 

CHANTELLE: [Begins to duct tape Filip to a chair, then grabs his hair and pushes his head inside a bucket full of water for a few seconds before pulling him out]

[Coolly] Had enough?

FILIP: [Stares at Chantelle with fear in his eyes]

Fighting scene
(My younger brother, Eugene, does karate so we will have him choreograph the fighting scene to make sure it looks as if Chantelle has the upper hand against him)

Fighting ensues between Eugene and Chantelle

CHANTELLE: [Throws a barrage of punches against Eugene and eventually pins him down to the floor]

EUGENE: [Straining] Dono yo ni fukaku watashitachi no rutsu? (TRANSLATION: How deep are your roots?) aka our tagline 

CHANTELLE: [Looks down at him]

[Apathetically] Sono fukakunai.
 (TRANSLATION: Not that deep)

CHANTELLE: [Punches Eugene's face]